


Long Walk Home

by annamariestark



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, Smut, Vampire AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-08-18 20:22:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20197603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annamariestark/pseuds/annamariestark
Summary: He said he'd be watching. He meant it.Sequel to Soft To Be Strong.





	1. More of a Climb, Less of a Walk

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you as always to the lovely @flutter_field for being my beta and idea bouncer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's smut in this first chapter because I have no self control. Enjoy, y'all.

Asra woke before dawn and slipped from the bed quietly, careful not to wake the small form sleeping next to him. It had been nearly a year since he’d found Anna, slightly less since he’d moved in with her and they’d begun their life together. He issued a silent thanks every day to whatever deity would listen, that he had her. 

That they had each other.

“Hmm, where are you going?” She murmured, eyes still closed.

“To feed,” he answered quietly. “Go back to sleep, love.”

He wasn’t only going out to feed. It was her twenty-third birthday. He wasn’t sure if she knew that he knew. He hoped not, anyway. He was looking forward to surprising her.

He picked off a lone fisherman at the docks before going to the market, first stopping at a jeweler’s booth.

“Do you have it?” He asked the older man.

“That I do. Received it from Prakra yesterday.” He handed Asra a box, flipping it open to reveal a pendant: a teardrop-shaped moonstone, set in silver, strung on soft black cording.

“It’s perfect.” Asra paid the man, wandering next to the baker’s stall, purchasing some pumpkin bread. He returned home to find Anna still in bed, and crawled in next to her, gathering her into his arms.

“Good morning,” she whispered. “You were gone a long time.”

“I brought you back some pumpkin bread.”

“Mmm,” she sighed. “That’s true love, right there.” 

“Something like that,” he said, grunting when she poked him in the ribs before flashing him with a bright smile. He kissed her deeply, and she pulled herself from his grip, pushing him onto his back.

“Oh, what’s this?”

“There’s something I’d like a little more than bread, right now…” she winked at him.

“I think I can oblige,” he grinned, kissing her again.

\--

Asra stole to the living area while Anna was in the bath, placing her gift on her work stand. Arian eyed him knowingly.

“What? It’s her birthday,” Asra told the fox exasperatedly. “I couldn’t do nothing.”

“What about my birthday?” Anna entered the room, much more awake now. Asra admired the way her white blouse accentuated her figure, how her garnet skirt swished around her as she moved.

“I… uh…”

“How did you know?”

“You told me six months ago,” he raised an eyebrow at her. “January 25th. Isn’t that right?”

“It is. I’d forgotten I told you. Seems silly now.” She crossed the room to him, glancing at the box on the table. “What’s that?”

“I’m sure if you opened it, you’d find out.”

“Asra.” She rolled her eyes and reached for the box, gasping when she opened it.

“Do you like it?”

She put it on at once.

_Guess that answers that question. Gods, she looks beautiful._

“I love it, thank you so much. But Asra...”

“But?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I wasn’t going to celebrate my birthday this year. You know, since it probably won’t be long now before… before I ask you to turn me.”

_Great. She’s thinking about death. Wonderful._ He sighed inwardly. He knew it would come to turning her, one day. They’d certainly talked about it enough. But he wondered when the time came if he’d really be able to follow through. She was so vibrant, so lively, so _young_. He’d been young himself, when he was turned, and he still resented having lost so much in that aspect. He didn’t want to rob Anna of her life, both literally and figuratively.

He felt her arms wrap around him, snapping him from his thoughts.

“Are you okay?”

“I think I need to go out for a while,” he said quietly. “I have some thinking to do.”

“Asra, please talk to me. What’s on your mind?”

“You. It’s always you.” She buried her head in his shoulder, and he sighed.

“Is that bad?”

“Not at all,” he kissed her forehead softly. “I’m glad you like the necklace.”

“I do.”

He left her to her work and took off for the forest, finding some small solace in the way it enveloped him. The outside world fell away, and he focused on finding a tree under which to rest. He wound up splayed out in the grass, staring up at the leaves, the sun filtering through them, a summer breeze blowing softly.

_Coward._ _How can you tell her forever and be like this? What will she say if you tell her no? _How_ could you possibly even think about telling her no?_

He supposed he must have fallen asleep, because when he opened his eyes again, the sun had gone down.

_Shit. Now I’ve missed her entire birthday._

He wandered home, completely dejected. Anna was perched on the couch with a book, Arian curled at her feet.

“I was about to come out looking for you,” she told Asra, holding back a laugh as he came into full view. “Oh love, what have you been doing?” She got up, ignoring Arian’s snort of protest. Asra met her halfway, pulling her into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her hair.

“Come on,” she said, extracting herself from his arms. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“Cleaned up?” He looked at her, confused.

“Asra, you look a sight.” She dragged him to the bathroom, making him sit as she picked the twigs and leaves out of his hair, before drawing him a warm bath and forcing him into the tub. He thought about resisting, but he knew Anna would give him a hard time if he did.

“Do you need to talk?” She asked quietly, as her slender fingers worked shampoo into a lather on his head.

“No,” he sighed. “I’m okay. I’m sorry I stayed out all day.”

“It’s fine,” she told him, directing him to rinse his hair out. “I got a lot done. I even went to the market to buy new tins and bottles.”

“Hmm,” he replied. “Sounds like you need a bath too, then. You ought to join me.”

“You think so?” She slipped out of her clothing quickly and clambered into the tub.

“Well, that didn’t take as much convincing as I thought it might,” he chuckled.

“You thought you’d have to convince me? Silly.”

He gently spun her so that her back was facing him, and began to rub circles, easing out the knots that he knew always formed during her day’s work. She sighed happily.

“That feels good,” she murmured.

“I haven’t heard you say that in a few hours,” he smirked as she whirled around to face him again.

“How improper,” she turned her nose up. “I’m offended.”

He leaned towards her, cupping her cheeks, planting a soft kiss on her lips.

“You didn’t seem to be offended earlier when you were screaming my name…” He was pleased to hear his words elicit a ragged gasp from her throat.

“My memory seems to be fuzzy, you might have to remind me how that went.” She grinned mischievously. 

They barely got toweled off properly before they got to the bed. Asra lay Anna down, marveling in the sight of her, as he often did. He was on her at once, kissing her passionately, one hand holding himself up while the other wandered to press her legs apart, and he began to tease her with feather-light touches.

“Do you remember yet?” He whispered.

“Hmm… no.”

He slipped one finger inside her smoothly. She was already incredibly wet, and he groaned. She squirmed, grabbing at the sheets.

“Asra…”

He added another finger and curled them _just so_ against the spot that he knew drove her wild, grinning as she cried out. Her first orgasm came quickly, and he lay next to her, pulling her to lie on top of him. She was still shivering from her high when she reached down to grasp his cock, stroking him just a few times.

“Gods, Anna…” he gulped. She moved to rub against him, placing her hands square with his shoulders, and he took it upon himself to raise her hips up, guiding her onto him, sighing deeply as she sank down onto his length. When she was fully seated, she leaned to kiss him, but stopped short.

“Fangs.”

“Oops.” He hadn’t even noticed they’d dropped, he'd gotten so distracted by Anna. He retracted them quickly, and happily accepted her fervent kisses.

She began to roll her hips, and it was his turn to writhe against the sheets.

“Anna. Oh gods, Anna.” He placed his hands on her hips, helping guide her movements. It didn’t take long before both of them were shuddering, coming, calling out each other’s names as if their lives depended on it. Anna lifted up to lay next to Asra, and he quickly pulled her into his arms.

“Remember now?” He quipped.

“Oh yes, thank you.” She laughed, kissing him sweetly. "You're so very giving."

“Good, I was worried.” He pressed his forehead to hers, pulling up the covers around her. “It’s been a long day for both of us, I think,” he said quietly. “We should get some rest.”

“Asra?” Anna mumbled some time later, half-asleep, _completely_ adorable in Asra's eyes.

“Yes?”

“I almost forgot to tell you, I met a friend of yours at the market today. Charming fellow.”

“Friend?” Fear gripped Asra. He didn’t have any other friends, he hadn’t in a long while.

“Well, he said he knew you, anyway.” She shifted to wrap an arm around Asra’s waist, pressing her head to his chest.

“What did he look like?” Asra steeled himself for the answer, though he knew what it would be.

“Oh. He was tall. Deep auburn hair. And an eyepatch.” She shrugged.

“Anna, I need you to listen to me. Do not ever speak to that man again.”


	2. A New Focus

Panic. Panic was welling, and Asra barely held it at bay. _I’ll be watching_, he’d said. He looked down at Anna’s now-sleeping form and willed himself to stay calm. He kept careful watch on the windows at the top of the room throughout the night, forbidding himself to sleep. What if that monster had already followed her home?

_Maybe I should just leave… But where would that leave Anna?_

He shook his head. He knew he couldn’t leave.

_She’d be helpless. Unable to leave her house without fear of death. You’d be stranding her. You promised her forever. You can’t leave now. She wouldn’t leave _you_ like this._

He was thankful that he didn’t _need_ to breathe, as the urge to hyperventilate was strong. He kept his quiet post next to Anna until the sunlight began to trickle into the room, and she began to stir.

“Morning,” she mumbled. “Thirsty?”

“A little,” he admitted. “But you’re resting, it’s okay. I can wait.”

“Asra, please, I want you to.” She reached around to pull the covers down, exposing her neck to him. He couldn’t resist, then, and lowered his head, dropping his fangs. He hugged her tight as he sank them into her warm flesh, as she gasped. He got lost in the taste as her sweet blood passed his lips, moved over his tongue and down his throat.

“Asra.” She was patting him on the arm. “Asra.” He broke away immediately.

“I think you got a little carried away,” she slurred.

_What have you done, you idiot?_

“Sorry, I’m so sorry,” he said hurriedly, anxiety threatening to overwhelm him once more. He licked the bite clean, cradling Anna gently in his arms.

“I’m dizzy,” she giggled. “How am I going to get any work done this morning?” She stared up at him, blinking sleepily. Her brow furrowed, her expression changed to concern as she saw the look on his face.

“Are you okay?”

“I… we shouldn’t do that again,” he said darkly. “What if…?”

“Asra, it was an accident. I know you wouldn’t go too far, wouldn’t hurt me on purpose.” She shifted just a bit so that she could wrap her arms around him.

“You’re right, I would never.”

“If you’re having a hard time now, what’s it going to be like when you turn me? Don’t you have to nearly drain someone to turn them?”

“How do you know so much about vampires? I don’t think I told you that.”

“I’ve been doing some reading,” she admitted with another small giggle.

“Anna, you’re delirious. You need to sleep.”

“I am not.” She snorted, laughing again. “All right, I might be. Answer the question, Asra.”

He sighed. She wasn’t going to make this easy.

“Yes, you’re right. And I don’t know what it’ll be like. I’m trying not to think about it right now.”

“Why?” She fixed him with a cool stare, and he closed his eyes. He couldn’t handle the way she looked at him. All the trust in the world was contained in those deep blue eyes.

“Because, turning you… it’s essentially killing you. And I have to come to grips with that. Plus, I’m thinking about the parts of life that you’ll wind up missing out on.”

“But that’s _my_ decision to make. You said so.”

“I know.”

“So you have to let _me_ make the decision, Asra. No matter how you feel. If we’re going to have forever, it won’t do to have me growing old. I don’t want that for myself. I want to be young when I’m turned.”

“Okay,” he sighed heavily. “If that’s what you want.”

_She doesn’t know what she’s doing. But I promised her. Who am I to turn around and deny what she truly wants?_

She nuzzled into his shoulder. “I think I am going to sleep some more. Will you please stay here with me?”

He pulled the blankets up over them both and hugged her tight against him.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

She awoke in the late afternoon, and he carried her out to the living area, ignoring her grumbles of protest. She refused to stay on the sofa, and wobbled to the kitchenette to make herself some dinner.

“Please don’t fall,” he warned. “I’ll be obligated to poke fun at you.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” She pointed her cooking spoon at him for emphasis as he sat at the table, watching her.

“Oh, I’d dare.”

He talked her into an early bedtime, thankfully, but he refused to leave the house to feed, insisting that he’d taken enough from her that morning. In reality, he could have done with much more, but he didn’t want to leave her side.

The next morning, she absolutely insisted that she was going to the market. She needed food, as well as some other supplies for her work.

"Please be careful.” Asra urged.

“I’ll be okay,” she reassured him, reaching up to brush the fluffy white curls from his face before standing on tiptoe to kiss him. He leaned into her touch with a contented sigh.

“You’re sure you don’t need me to go along?”

“I’m sure. Now give me my basket, before I have to beat you with it.”

He reluctantly handed her the shopping basket. He loved her, but gods, she was perhaps the most stubborn woman he’d ever met.

“What can I do for you while you’re gone?” He asked. He’d taken to helping her with business, often going deep into the forest for supplies she wouldn’t be able to procure on her own.

“Hmm. Surprise me,” she said, shrugging.

She yelped as he grabbed her, dipping her low and kissing her.

"Asra!"

“Oh, I thought you meant right now, my mistake.” She swatted him with the empty basket, an enormous smile on her face.

“I love you. Behave yourself.”

“I make no promises,” he told her as she slipped out the door.

She returned a few hours later, her basket heavy and brimming with goods. She’d gotten enough food to last a week, as well as some bases for salves and oils. Asra helped her unpack and put everything away.

“I ran into that man again,” she cringed as she spoke the words. Asra was at attention immediately.

“I thought I told you not to speak to him.”

“He really didn’t give me a choice,” she told him. “Very persistent. He even tried to kiss my hand, I had to shake him off.”

“I’m glad you got away,” Asra breathed a sigh of relief.

“He said his name was Julian,” Anna frowned. “And he… he overheard my name from the baker. I’m sorry. I tried to be careful. He appeared out of nowhere.”

“Damn it.” Asra hissed.

“What do you think he wants?”

“He’s a vampire. The one who turned me. And… I think he’s following you.” Asra watched as her eyes widened.

“Oh. But why would he follow _me_?”

“Vampires are very possessive, Anna. And it’s common for us to want what we can’t have. You know that much.” He winked at her.

“But you have me now,” she reminded him.

“Yes, but it seems you’ve attracted a new audience.”

“I’ll be careful,” she promised.

“You’re safe in the house,” he told her. “Just never invite him in.”

“I know that much,” she said. “I would never.”

\---

A few weeks passed in relative peace. Neither Asra nor Anna saw hide nor hair of Julian anywhere in town. But Anna had begun to have some troubling dreams, and Asra had ceased sleeping again, if only so he could shake her awake if needed. He began to grow worried, however, as she began to lose more and more sleep to the dreams. He could see how the exhaustion was getting to her.

“What do you want?!” She yelled from the bathroom one afternoon. He poked his head in curiously, somewhat amused to see her sitting in the water, arms crossed indignantly.

“What?”

“You keep calling my name,” she said. “What do you need?”

“I didn’t call your name,” Asra told her slowly. “Are you okay?"

“I don't know,” she sighed, pulling the plug in the tub and stepping out. "I'm so tired."

“Why don’t you let me cook your dinner?”

“As long as you let me season it,” she laughed.

“Fair enough.” He had been a relatively good cook in life, but the last time he’d cooked for her he had used much too much salt on the vegetables. He still remembered the look on her face.

She plodded into the living area a while later, wearing one of his shirts in lieu of her own sleep shirt.

“Excuse you, that’s mine.”

“You left it on the bed,” she told him lightly. “Fair game.”

“I seasoned the chicken exactly how you taught me,” he informed her, “but I thought I’d let you doctor your own rice.” He gave it another stir on the stove.

“A wise choice,” she laughed. He moved aside to allow her to add butter and some assorted spices.

“I really wish I could taste real food as it were intended to taste,” he frowned.

“You still haven’t told me how you know what paper tastes like, you know.”

“Oh, I actually remembered that one," he said with a snap of his fingers. "I was just a child, then. I thought that you had to eat the page from a spell book to perform the spell,” he covered his face with his hands, embarrassed. “My father was not pleased.”

“Do you remember them? Your parents?”

“No. Nothing, now.”

He carved the chicken for her, and sat down with her as she ate.

“So your memories faded drastically after you turned,” she said softly.

“Yes. I can barely remember being human, and I worry about that happening to you. You’re still human now. Will you forget meeting me? We’ve had such a good life together so far. I don’t want you to lose those memories.”

_I don’t want you to lose your entire life, Anna. Please, reconsider. _

“I think that’s something that’s easily fixed,” she said brightly. “I’d just need to start writing things down. That way I can go back and read.”

“Reading isn’t the same as remembering lived experience,” he grumbled.

“You’re not going to talk me out of this, Asra.”

She fell asleep quickly that night, and he was thankful for it. He left the house briefly, taking the first person he saw as a victim, before returning home.

Julian was standing at the door when he returned, and he flashed Asra with a devilish grin as he approached.

“You.” Asra hissed.

“Oh, hello. Miss me?”

“You’re not welcome here,” Asra growled.

“I see you’ve found yourself a new pet,” Julian simpered. “She’s quite lovely.” He took a step toward Asra.

“It’s not… she’s not… that’s none of your business,” Asra stammered.

_Gods damn it all, get it together._

“Oh? Something more, then. Even better.”

“Even better for what?” Asra demanded. “What are you talking about?!”

“You’ll see,” the older vampire slid past Asra with a chuckle. “Take _care_, won’t you?” He disappeared into the forest, leaving Asra standing alone, shaking.


	3. All You Were Taught to Run From

Asra had dashed inside after Julian departed, almost afraid of what he might find, although he knew at this point that that particular fear was unfounded. Anna was still asleep, and seemed to be resting peacefully. He slid into bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close.

_Thank the gods._

“What’s wrong?” She mumbled, her voice muffled by the blankets surrounding her.

“Go back to sleep,” he whispered. She rolled over, clawing the blankets away to plant sleepy kisses on his face, nuzzling his nose with her own, and he closed his eyes, willing himself to relax. He sighed contentedly as she brought a hand up to run fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp gently.

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m worried for you,” he admitted. “If anything happens to you… I don’t know what I’d do. You’ve become my whole world, Anna. I won’t lose you, not to anything or _anyone_.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” she reassured him, cupping his face with both hands and kissing him softly before curling up against his chest.

“But…” he started.

“No buts,” she told him firmly. “Here you’ve been telling me I should rest, but I think you have just as much need.”

“You’re right,” he said with a heavy sigh.

“I know,” she replied matter-of-factly. She squealed as he tickled her sides.

“You know, do you?”

“Asra… I… stop that…” she huffed between giggles. He stopped, and she rolled onto her back, still laughing, chest heaving as she tried to catch a breath. She caught him staring, and blushed fiercely.

“What are you looking at?”

“I love you.” He leaned down to kiss her.

“I love you too,” she whispered.

Against his better judgement, Asra went into the forest the next morning to spend some time alone. He knew, logically, that Anna was safe as long as she stayed inside the house. He’d made her promise not to answer the door. She’d shooed him away, insisting she’d be fine. But when he returned, she was sitting on the sofa, trembling.

“I… I just went to wash my hands,” she stuttered. “The water was red. It looked like blood,” she said with a shudder. He crossed to the faucet, turning the water on. Cool, clear water splashed down into the sink. He switched it off and turned to her.

“Anna, the water is fine.”

“But…”

“I think you should turn in early tonight,” he told her. “I know you haven’t been sleeping well still.”

She shook her head firmly. “There’s a party in the square. I never miss it, I haven’t in years.”

“You know it’s not safe.”

“So, go with me,” she told him. “You need to loosen up a little bit.”

“You’re not going to let up on this, are you?”

“Nope,” she grinned at him. “Come on, it’ll be fun. We could even go down to the docks, if you want, and I’ll _actually_ push you into the water this time.”

He laughed softly, remembering when he’d tried to kiss her. The fateful encounter that had led him here.

“I believe I’d have to get a kiss first, for that to be fair.”

“That can be arranged.”

\--- 

Asra held Anna’s hand tightly as they walked to the square that night. There was already a crowd. Festive music played, and Anna turned to him, a wide smile on her face.

“Dance with me?”

“Of course.” Asra wrapped his arms around her, and for a while, he let himself get lost in her, in the music, as they danced together. When the song ended, he stepped back, bowing to Anna, laughing as she shoved his shoulder playfully.

“You’re silly,” she told him, lantern light dancing in her eyes.

“But you love me.”

“I do. Don’t ever forget it.”

A shadow fell across Anna’s face as a familiar figure stepped to.

“Might I have the next dance?” Julian’s deep voice cut through the music. Asra bristled, fangs bared as he stared down the older vampire.

“Leave her alone, Julian.”

“Now now, so impolite. Why not let the lady choose? Let’s not drag this out into a fight,” he said snidely. “That wouldn’t end well for either of you, I daresay.”

Anna looked to Asra, fear on her face.

“I’ll be watching you,” he warned Julian. “If you lay a hand on her…”

“It’s not my hands you should worry about, young one.” Julian said lowly, as he dragged Anna into his arms and whisked her away into a lively dance. Asra tried to follow them, but soon lost their figures to the crowd. He climbed a low wall, trying to get a better view, but had no luck.

_Please, no. Gods, what have I done? I just let him take her. Just like that. Anna, I’m so sorry…_

He clambered down a few songs later, seething with anger. A small figure collided with him, and he jumped, startled, before he recognized who it was.

“Asra,” Anna cried, wild-eyed and breathing hard. “Asra, let’s go home. I want to go home, now.”

“What did he do to you?”

“He tried to bite me… I… let’s go,” she begged. “I got away, I’m fine, let’s just go.”

Asra carried Anna home, and refused to put her down until they were safely inside and the door was locked securely. Once he was satisfied, he picked her up again, taking her to the bedroom, helping her to change.

“Are you hurt?” He asked worriedly.

“I’m not hurt,” she insisted, but allowed him to look her over from head to toe, before he’d handed her one of her sleep shirts.

“You’re sure?” He asked, as she pulled the garment on and climbed into bed.

“Not hurt. Just scared.”

“What can I do to help you feel better?”

“Hold me.”

He was on the bed in an instant, pulling her into his arms. She curled up against him, and he realized that she was shaking.

“Anna?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry.”

She craned her neck to look up at him. “Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for?”

“I let him get away with you, at the party. I…”

“I told you he was persistent,” she sighed. “I don’t think blame lies with either of us. Let’s just both try to relax, okay?”

He preoccupied himself with rubbing circles on her back, running fingers through her hair. His fingers brushed over her neck, and she shivered.

“What if you just turned me, right now?” She asked quietly. “Then he wouldn’t have anything to chase anymore.”

“I can’t,” he replied. “I’m sorry. I can’t. Not yet.”

_Selfish bastard._

“Asra,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “You can’t keep avoiding this.”

“I know. But I can’t do it now.”

“Why not?”

_Because I’m scared._

“Because, I just can’t,” he muttered. “Let’s go to sleep.”

\---

He stole away in the early morning hours to feed. She woke when he was leaving, offered some of her blood, but he declined.

“I’m too thirsty right now,” he’d told her. He didn’t trust himself not to go too far. The previous time he'd bitten her played at the back of his mind.

“Later, then,” she’d told him.

He stayed out afterwards, wandering the city aimlessly.

_What if you turned me, right now?_ Her words echoed in his head. Why hadn’t he? It was the simplest solution. His stomach twisted as he thought of the taste of her. He’d be giving that up, too.

_So selfish. This isn’t about you. It’s about what Anna wants. That’s all. Why can’t you let go and see that?_

Anger bubbled up in his as he remembered the previous night at the dance. He’d just stood there and let Julian sweep Anna away. He couldn’t let that happen again.

Asra found himself in the Red Market early that afternoon. One vendor in particular caught his eye, selling wares she swore would protect against ‘any monster you could imagine.’ A finely carved wooden stake called to him. He bought it without a second thought. It fit perfectly in his boot.

“Tracking a vampire?” The shopkeep asked him.

“Something like that,” he told her.

“Be careful, laddie. They’re fierce and deadly creatures. You could easily lose your life to one.”

“So I’ve heard,” Asra replied coolly, stifling a laugh.

_If he tries to hurt her again, I’ll be ready._


	4. Walking Contradictions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Here there be smut.

Asra returned to find Anna still in bed. He shed his boots, placing the stake on his bedside table, and crawled across the bed to her, peppering her face with kisses.

“Asra,” she said clearly, with eyes closed but a wide grin, “I’m asleep.”

“You don’t seem to be asleep,” he tickled her gently, delighting in her laughter.

“Well, I’m not _now_,” she pulled him closer, opening her eyes. “What do you want?”

“You.”

“Oh really?” She reached under his shirt, running her hands up and down his chest, fingertips then dipping low, into the waistband of his pants. He let out a long, low moan.

“Y… yes…” He managed to get out.

“I think you’re somewhat overdressed for all that, don't you?”

“Maybe you’re right.” He removed his shirt, gasping as she began to palm him through his pants.

“Something wrong?” She looked up at him with an impish grin.

He reached for her, pulling her—no—_his_ shirt off of her.

“Wearing my clothes again?”

“It’s not my fault they’re so comfortable,” she laughed. He knelt, flicking his tongue against one of her nipples, sucking at it gently.

“Asra…” She slipped one hand down his pants, and he shivered as she ran her fingers over his cock.

“Anna… _gods_…”

“What?” She said innocently. “You’re still wearing _far_ too much clothing.”

He fumbled with the lacing on his pants, and after what seemed like much too long, finally wrestled himself free of the offending garment. She was on him at once, pinning him to the bed, stroking his cock with one hand.

“That’s better,” she cooed, kneeling to run her tongue up his length, taking the tip of him in her mouth, teasing him with light licks. He shuddered, gasping for breath he didn’t even need.

“Anna. Oh gods, Anna, don’t stop.”

“Hmm? She looked up at him. “Did you say stop?”

“I said _don’t_ stop.”

That grin again. “I know,” she told him.

“Tease.”

“Sure, I can tease you more, if that’s what you want,” she murmured, using one hand to stroke while she ran her tongue over him, ghosting her warm breath after. He moaned loudly.

“Anna… please, I want you.”

“You’ll have to be more specific than that,” she said, taking him as far into her mouth as she could, sucking gently. His hands scrabbled in the sheets. Gods, her mouth was so _warm_.

“Want… to be… inside you… Please. Please, Anna.” he stammered. She pulled away from him, tilting her head.

“Oh?” She crawled up to cover his body with her own small form. He rolled them over, pressing her into the bed.

“Please…”

“What are you waiting for?” She asked, pulling him down by the nape of his neck to kiss him deeply. He aligned his hips with hers and pushed into her slowly, savoring her heat. She arched her back as he settled, began with long, slow strokes.

“Anna, oh gods, Anna, you feel incredible…” he whispered in her ear.

He was expecting a moan, perhaps a whimper. What he got instead was a high pitched shriek. She pushed him off and away, and was cowering in a corner before he could get his thoughts straight.

“I… Asra…” She sobbed. “I’m sorry…”

“Anna,” he crouched in front of her. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

“I heard _his_ voice. When you whispered to me. I don’t know what’s going on. I’m sorry, I ruined the moment…” she continued to cry. He picked her up, carrying her back to the bed, wrapping her in blankets. 

“Anna, I don’t think this has anything to do with you. There’s no need to apologize.”

“How… how did…”

Asra sighed heavily.

“I think when he touched you, that first time at the market, he made a connection. Now he’s using it against you.”

“So he’s messing with my head,” she said slowly. Asra nodded.

“Yes, I think so. Calling your name repeatedly, the bloody water, whispering in your ear. All of it could likely be traced back to Julian.”

“How do we get him to stop?”

“I don’t know.”

“Would turning me stop it?”

“Anna, please…” He frowned. “Don’t.”

“Why not? It’s a legitimate question.”

“Be that as it may, I need you to understand that I’m not ready.”

“But I am,” she insisted.

“Can we _please_ not talk about this right now? We’re both stressed enough already.”

“Asra… you know what, fine. I’ll drop it. But eventually you’re going to have to take the plunge.”

_She’s never going to let up. Why did I make that promise? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just turn her and get it over with? It’s all she wants. We could have forever. It could protect her from Julian. I’m all that’s standing in the way._

“Why don’t we go out this evening?” He suggested, hoping to distract her. “Get some fresh air?”

“Are you sure it’s safe?” She regarded him skeptically.

He picked up the stake he’d purchased earlier in the day, twirling it in his fingers.

“Even if it’s not…”

“You really think that would stop him?”

“It will if I drive it through his heart,” Asra said coldly. “And if he touches you again...”

“Let’s go out,” she said hurriedly, as she watched his expression darken. “Come on.”

After they shared a bath, they dressed and set out for the city. As soon as they reached the market, Asra bought a daisy, tucking it behind Anna’s ear, grinning at the blush that rose on her cheeks.

“How about a gondola ride?” He asked.

“That sounds relaxing,” Anna said with a pointed stare. “I know what you’re trying to do, Asra.”

“I’m sure you do,” he replied quietly.

The evening was uneventful, and they ended the night sitting on the docks, watching the moon rise.

“I’ll never get tired of this view,” Anna said happily.

“Hmm, me too.” He wasn’t looking at the sky. Anna caught his gaze and blushed again.

“May I kiss you?” He whispered. “Please?”

“How nice of you to ask,” she laughed.

He kissed her gently, remembering the first time he’d seen her, sitting in the exact spot where they sat now.

“What a year it’s been,” he said softly.

“It’s been interesting to say the least,” she replied. “I’m getting tired. Can we go home?”

“Sure,” he agreed.

He tucked her into bed that night, snuggling close, resting his head on her chest, letting her heartbeat lull him to sleep. He tried not to think about the inevitable day when he’d hear that soothing sound no longer.


	5. Second Place Victory

Anna threw herself into her work the next day. Asra left in the morning to feed, and spent the rest of his day on the sofa, reading. Anna interrupted him midday, throwing herself into his lap to cover his face with kisses.

“What’s all this about?” He grinned at her warmly.

“Just because I can.” She wrapped her arms around him, resting her head in the crook of his neck. “Are you complaining?”

“Definitely not.”

Anna went outside in the early evening to tend to her garden, despite Asra’s urging to stay inside.

“I’ll be fine,” she insisted. “Plus, you’re right here. Just keep that stake handy.”

Asra had gotten up to feed Arian when he heard a scream and a crash from the back of the house.

_Oh, gods, no, please, no, no, no. I told her. I warned her. Why didn't she listen?_

He rushed outside. The large table that held the majority of Anna’s garden boxes had been overturned. Dirt and uprooted herbs lay scattered about. Her watering can was lying on its side on the ground, stagnant-smelling blood bubbling out to pool beneath it. In the middle of the puddle lay Anna’s moonstone pendant.

Anna was gone.

There was a slight trail from the pool of blood, leading towards the path back to the city. Asra ran full out, praying he was indeed heading in the right direction. For hours, he scoured every alley, every bar. Finally, he came to a familiar alley, but he couldn’t quite place it at first. Then, finally, the memory snapped back to him.

_This is where I was turned. _

About halfway down the street, he saw Julian, pinning someone to the rough stone wall. The figure screamed, beating fists against Julian. It was her.

_Anna. Please hold on._

Asra let out a low growl, baring his fangs. Julian looked up at once, blood dripping down his chin.

“Oh, how good of you to join us,” he simpered. “Anna and I were just talking about you.”

“Let. Her. Go.” Asra said through gritted teeth.

“Not just yet, I think,” Julian shot back. “She’s still got a bit left in her. Unless you’re thirsty, that is. I could share.”

Asra darted towards Julian, stopping short as Anna’s body collided with his own. He barely caught her before she hit the ground. She was a mess of ragged bite marks and smeared blood. Bruises bloomed on her arms, her face. Her lips were blue, her skin pale, much more so than normal.

“Asra…” she cried weakly. “I’m… sorry… I tried…”

“Shh, don’t apologize.” He lowered her carefully to the cobblestone street. “Stay with me, Anna. Please.”

No sooner had Asra set Anna down than Julian was on him, pinning him tightly against a wall. He mustered all the strength in him, tossing the other vampire back, his lanky frame slamming into the opposite wall.

“So that’s how you want to play it, hmm?”

Asra launched himself at Julian, knocking him back against the wall once more. In one fluid motion, he pulled the wooden stake from his boot, plunging it into Julian’s heart. The older vampire’s eye widened in surprise.

“No,” Asra snarled, fangs flashing in the moonlight. “_This_ is how I want to play it, you monster.”

“Killing one of your own,” Julian choked out. “How dare…”

He crumbled into dust before he could finish.

Asra let the stake clatter to the ground, rushing back to Anna. She was struggling to breathe.

“Turn… me…” she begged.

“Not now.”

“But…”

“I’m taking you home,” he told her firmly.

Once home, he drew a bath, and carefully, painstakingly, cleansed her wounds. The bites were worse than he thought; all jagged edges with multiple puncture marks. They’d leave scars, he had no doubt. She’d obviously put up a hard fight. She faded in and out of consciousness as he worked, but thankfully, did not ask again to be turned.

_Look what you’ve done. If you’d just turned her the _first fucking time_ she’d asked, she wouldn’t be in this situation. He wouldn’t have taken her. Now she’s close to death, and it’s YOUR FAULT._

Asra put Anna to bed that night, praying she’d make it through. He lay next to her, holding her close against him. He counted every breath, every heartbeat.

_Please, please don’t leave me. We’ve come so far, Anna. You can’t leave now._

She made it through the first night, and the next several after, and he began to have hope again. She was very weak, and for a long while he did everything for her. Weeks passed and she began to move about the house on her own again, albeit slowly. The first thing she did was take over cooking.

“I can’t wait until I don’t have to do this anymore,” she told him one day. “I don’t think I’ve ever realized how tedious it is when you’re sick… and when your partner can’t season anything properly to save their life,” she smirked at him.

“No need to flaunt your skills,” he fired back. “I can tell you for a fact that all of your cooking tastes like paper, seasoning or no seasoning.”

“Rude.”

\--- 

Summer faded into fall, fall into a bitter winter, and for a while, Asra thought he was home free. Anna had stopped asking to be turned. Until one day, when they were cuddled together in front of the fireplace.

“Asra, can we talk?”

“About?”

“I want you to turn me,” she said tersely. “Within the next week.”

“How… how can you just give me a deadline like that?” He pulled away from her, shocked.

“We’ve been through this before, so many times! It’s not your choice!” She seemed to cringe as she raised her voice to him. She’d never yelled at him like this. Arian, who had been resting in her lap, squeaked in surprise and dashed for cover.

“I know that! But you’re asking me to kill you!” He shouted at her. “I can’t do that! I love you too much to let you throw your fucking life away for the likes of a creature like me.”

“Did it ever occur to you,” she said, fuming, “that maybe, just _maybe_, I actually _want_ to be like you? That I want to be with you, _forever_, and this is the _only way I can do that_?”

“Of course it has!”

He stood, and she followed suit, tossing her blankets away. She was crying now, tears streaming down the face that he loved so much.

“Then what’s the problem?! Asra, you promised. You _promised me_.”

“I don’t care what I promised!” He stalked towards the door, and she ran after him, grabbing at his sleeve. He wrenched his arm away, throwing the door open wide. Anna flinched against the cold gust of air that blew into the room. He strode through the door, and didn’t stop until he reached the first line of trees at the forest’s edge.

He stopped then, gazing back at her. She was on her knees in the doorway, leaning against the door frame, sobbing. He could hear her cries, carried to him on the frigid winter breeze. He felt a pang in his chest as he watched her, wanted to run back to her, but instead he turned away, disappearing into the depths of the forest.


	6. Tomorrow is Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is your smut warning.

Asra stayed away for a week. It was the longest one of his life, he thought. He took cover in the city, keeping to back alleys and deserted parts of town.

_What have I done?_ The question repeated in his head incessantly. _I’ve lost her now, I know I have. All because I let my own feelings get in the way of a choice that she has every right to make. She wants to be with me, and I’m telling her no. What the fucking hell is wrong with me?_

He didn’t sleep, didn’t eat, just wandered. Every insult he’d ever hurled at himself, he did so again, tenfold. He felt like a monster. He’d _acted_ like a monster.

_I don’t care what I promised!_ _Gods, how fucking heartless. How could I have said that?_ He hadn’t meant the words, not one bit.

He knew what he had to do. He made sure to feed before he went back to the cottage, afraid that if he didn’t, he’d make a mistake he’d regret for eternity. When he arrived at the door, he stopped short.

_What if I can’t get in? What if she’s rescinded her invitation?_

Although he lived there now, he was relatively sure that she could have still banned him, if she wanted to. It was _her_ house, after all. He took a deep breath and knocked sharply on the door. It was still early morning, and the sunlight was fighting to be seen through a sea of gray clouds that promised snow would be coming soon.

There was no answer. He knocked harder. On his third go, the door swung open. Anna stood there, wearing his shirt over loose-fitting sleep pants.

_I might as well give her that shirt, _he chuckled inwardly.

Her face was tear-stained, eyes rimmed red.

_You. You did this to her._

“What are you doing?” She cocked her head to one side. “Knocking on your own door?”

“Can I come in?” Asra asked quietly.

“It’s been a long time since I told you that you couldn’t,” she replied, stepping aside to allow him entrance. She turned away, trudging back to the bedroom, leaving him to close and lock the door. He followed her, watched as she crawled back into bed, pulling the covers up over her head. His stomach twisted in on itself as he heard a strangled cry from under the blankets. He could see her shoulders shaking as she sobbed.

“Anna?”

“What do you want?” She demanded, sniffling loudly. “I thought you left. What do you want now? Have you come back to tell me off again, tell me how I’d be throwing my life away if I turned?”

“You,” he told her. “That’s what I want. I want you. In my life. Forever.”

“I think we’ve established that forever isn’t going to happen, Asra. Don’t you think you’re wasting your own time, coming back here?”

He climbed onto the bed, pulling the blankets away from her. She fought at first, but finally acquiesced, rolling over to face him.

“Anna, I was wrong. I don’t know what else to say. I treated you terribly, and I’m sorry. I never should have stood in the way of what you wanted. I got in such a way in my own head that I wasn’t thinking about the big picture. But you, you were thinking about it all along. You know what you’re about, and I couldn’t see past your death. But after that, Anna, you’ll have so many tomorrows, and I want to be there, for all of them.”

She wiped tears away with a blanket, looking at him forlornly.

“That was quite a speech,” she hiccuped. “Been practicing it long?”

“Anna,” Asra said her name quietly. “I’m ready, if you are.”

“I… you…” she gaped at him. “Asra. Do you mean that?”

“I tried to make your decision for you. I’m not going to do that again. I’ll turn you, if that’s what you want. If you still want me, I’m here for you. I’m yours. I’ll always be yours.”

“I’ve never wanted anything but you,” she collapsed into more tears. “All along I thought you could see that.”

“I was an idiot, Anna.”

“I still love you. I never stopped.” She leapt into his arms, and he caught her, pulling her close, savoring her warmth. He knew it was the last time he’d feel her like this. He leaned back against the headboard of the bed, tugging her against him, peppering her face with kisses.

“I love you, Anna.”

“I love you too, Asra. Don’t ever forget it.”

He laughed softly. “How could I, when we’ve come this far together?”

“I’m not sure, but if you did, you’d be in trouble,” she warned, letting loose a small giggle.

“Are you ready?” He asked under his breath. She nodded, and craned her neck. He leaned low, brushing his fangs against her skin before biting in as gently as he could. He gasped, feeling the first rush of blood hit his throat. He drank carefully, slowly, committing the taste of her to memory. When he finally broke away, her chest was heaving.

“I’m dizzy,” she said, voice shaky. He bit into his own wrist, and held it down to her.

“Drink,” he instructed. She grasped his arms, her hands shaking, and did as he said. She sputtered through the first few mouthfuls before settling into an easier rhythm. He took his wrist away after a short time, and pulled her closer.

“What happens now?” She asked. She was trembling like a leaf.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he assured her. “Your heart is going to stop soon. I’m right here. I won’t leave you.”

“Okay,” she said breathily. He placed his hand on her chest, felt as her heart slowed, as it struggled to produce just a few more beats before it stilled altogether.

“Anna?” Asra ventured cautiously. She wasn't moving.

_Please, don't let it have gone wrong._

“Oh!” She sat straight up, eyes wide. “That’s… I… Asra!” She glanced at him, clearly panicked.

“Are you all right?”

“My heart.”

“It feels strange, doesn’t it?”

“Oh gods, I’m _thirsty_,” she exclaimed.

“Get dressed, we’ll go out.”

Anna leapt from the bed, shedding her bedclothes, dressing in warm pants, boots, and a long-sleeved blouse. She threw on a cloak, and turned to Asra.

“I’m ready. I think. Gods, were you this thirsty when you turned?”

“I was. It’s overwhelming, I know. Try to hang in there.”

They wandered to the docks, where Anna spotted a lone fisherman pulling in some traps from the shallows.

“Try to glamour him,” Asra told her. “Just concentrate, imagine yourself being irresistible. Not like it’ll be hard for you,” he winked. “Since you already are.”

She rolled her eyes at him, then began to advance on the poor unsuspecting man. Asra watched from afar.

“A bit cold to be out here by yourself, don’t you think?” Anna cooed. The man snapped to attention at once.

“Oh, and do you think you could warm me up, lassie?”

“Come and find out,” she said smoothly.

As soon as he was within arm’s reach of her, she jumped on him, slamming him into the ground effortlessly, her teeth in his throat before he could scream. She drained the man quickly, and looked up to Asra, blood dripping from the corners of her mouth.

_Gods, how fucking hot. _

He could feel himself getting hard. He strode to Anna, picking up the body that lay at her feet, tossing it into the water behind her. She was wiping her face, licking her fingers.

“That was exhilarating,” she grinned. He scooped her up into his arms, turning towards home.

“Asra, what are you doing?”

“I am taking you home,” he fixed her with an intense stare. “And then I’m going to fuck you. _Hard.”_

“Oh my gods,” she breathed. “_Please._”

She made him put her down, and they made a mad dash for the house, barely making it in the door before clothing started coming off. Asra had Anna pinned to the bed quickly, trailing open mouthed kisses down her body before settling between her legs, licking her clit with firm strokes. Anna tangled her hands in his curly hair, tugging lightly.

“Gods damn it, Asra,” she growled. He slipped two fingers inside her, moving with quick thrusts, curling his fingers as he did so.

“I’m close,” she whispered. He stopped moving, laughing quietly as she whined.

“Asra.”

“Hmm?”

“Quit _fucking_ teasing me.” She gave his hair a firm tug, and he returned to his ministrations. He stopped twice more, until she had tears in her eyes, was begging to come. When he gave in, she came, screaming his name. Seconds later, he was on top of her, pushing his cock into her hard and fast.

“You’re fucking soaking,” he told her with a low growl. “Gods, you feel so good.”

“Speak… for… yourself…” she managed to get out.

For a short while the only sounds were their moans and the _obscene _slapping of his hips against her own, before they both came, Anna clawing at his hips, the sheets, anything she could reach. Asra flopped onto his back next to her, trailing fingertips over her trembling form.

“What inspired that?” She asked, turning to him.

“Look,” he said with a grin. “I can’t help it that you’re so goddamned attractive.”

“So..." Anna said coyly. "We don’t have to sleep."

“What are you thinking?”

She winked at him suggestively, and he was on her again in an instant.


	7. Always is a Place

It took a while for the dust to settle, even after Anna and Asra had made their amends. They took to learning each other anew as time passed.

Gradually, she convinced him to open up more, to stop running from his emotions. It was a colossal task, but she was patient, and for that he was thankful. He’d spent his entire life, that he could remember, skirting his problems. Avoidance was easier, less painful somehow. Anna had charged him with becoming better, and he wanted nothing more than to try as hard as he could, for her.

_After all, if we’re going to have forever…_

True to her word, Anna had begun to write out her memories, and Asra happily provided her a set of leather-bound journals for the task. He enjoyed reading through them as she filled them with tales of her life. Stories from her childhood. Memories of him. Of them, together.

“Did you _really_ paint your mother’s cat?” He asked her one morning, laughing so hard he snorted. They sat on the sofa together, and he rested his head on her shoulder as he read.

“I did,” she giggled. “He looked beautiful. My mother was angry as hell. But she named him Blue, honestly, she was asking for it.”

“What about this one? You broke your leg jumping out of a tree?”

“I was trying to see if I could fly.”

“I take it that you couldn’t?”

“That’s a secret,” she said airily.

“And then there’s this,” he said, giggling. “You nearly burned the house down? What were you doing?”

“Making breakfast, albeit not effectively.” She snorted. “It was only the kitchen that burned.”

“Still, I’m glad your skills improved.” He jumped slightly as she elbowed him in the ribs.

“I wish I remembered more about my life,” he frowned. “I never had the thought to record things like this.”

“I guess you’ll just have to work on forming new memories then,” she encouraged him gently.

“Hmm, I guess so. It might be more fun if I had someone to make memories with.”

“I know someone who’d love to make memories with you.” She nudged his arm pointedly.

“Oh? Can you introduce us?”

She kissed the top of his head.

“You’re a mess.”

“But I’m _your_ mess.”  


\--

Five years passed in the blink of an eye. Asra had been afraid for a long while that he’d lose the Anna he’d come to love when she was human, but he found each day that he fell for her more and more. She was a wild whirlwind of a woman, and he loved her with everything in him.

_Why not marry her?_ He found the thought occurring more and more as time went on. He knew they were already together, but he wanted just a little more. He took advantage of her deep cat nap one day to measure her ring finger.

He sought out the same jeweler in the market, purchasing two simple gold bands. Anna had always favored comfort over style, and wasn’t comfortable with much finery. Asra could have cared less about what the bands were made of, if they contained stones or not. He just wanted _her._

He waited a while, finding himself much shyer than he thought he’d be. It was just a question. He’d sworn to Anna he’d be more open, but this, this was different.

Finally, the day came. He slipped the box with the rings into his pocket that morning while Anna was in the bath. It was spring, the trees were in bloom, and spent the day at the market before meandering down to the docks. They sat in silence for a while, watching the waves roll in. He peeked at her every so often. She was entranced by the view, seemingly in her own world.

He steeled himself.

_Just do it._

“Anna?” He asked tentatively.

“Hmm?” She turned to face him, tucking one foot under the opposite knee, laying a hand on his arm. “Something wrong?”

“Not at all. I was wondering, though…”

“Wondering what?” She tilted her head curiously.

“Would you…”

_Gods, get it together._

“Would I… what?”

“Will you marry me?” The words slipped off his tongue in a rush. He studied her face. She blinked a few times, but her expression didn’t change. Then, she laughed, a clear, bright sound against the crashing of the waves against the shore.

“I was about to ask you the same thing.”

“I… you… what?” He asked her, completely flabbergasted. She chuckled.

“We’re together, aren’t we? Why not?”

He giggled.

“We’re going to have a hard time convincing a magistrate that we’re the ages we claim.”

“Oh gods, I hadn’t thought about that. This’ll be amusing.”

He stood, offering her a hand, helping her to her feet.

“Well, shall we?” She nodded eagerly.

“Let’s go.”

The process went smoother than Asra anticipated, and they left the newly constructed courthouse hand in hand, nothing but smiles.

“So, Anna _Alnazar_, he grinned. “What now?”

“I guess we really are spending forever together, aren’t we?”

“Don’t tell me you’re changing your mind now.” He swept her into a tight hug.

“Never,” she told him with a glint in her eyes. “Forever and always, I’m yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading!
> 
> The song inspo for the fic and chapter titles came from the music of This Day and Age, and Watashi Wa.


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